Use your imagination!

As I lay on the pier looking into the crystal clear waters beneath me, I feel like I'm gazing into a huge aquarium, with beautiful, colourful fish darting past. I see some children running after each other. Their laughter is contagious! Their house is very small compared to North American standards. Most of the Belizean houses are smaller and raised up a few feet from the ground on stilts. The school 'boat' takes the kids off to school in San Pedro about nine miles away. I can't quite imagine what it would be like to live here year round, but it makes for a lovely, relaxed vacation!

These kids have so little! Probably a couple of toys or books. Are they happy? They run and laugh and play. They appear to be very happy. Our kids have so much -- rooms filled with toys! And yet they complain of boredom! 'There's nothing to do!' I remember years ago when my children were little, I ran across an article talking about the benefits of boredom for children. It struck me as being funny but the premise was that boredom spurs creativity. If we don't become bored we do not invent, imagine, and look outside of ourselves. I remember saying, "good!" when one of my children professed a state of boredom, "now you can be creative!"

I'm starting to think that the human imagination is at risk of extinction! Not just for children but for adults. We need to imagine -- to dream, to pretend, to think about possibilities, to create! Our society is so eager to avoid stillness that it seems to equate stillness with boredom, or even worse, laziness --considering it to be 'unproductive.' And heaven forbid that we not be busy or appear to be busy at all times! "What have you been up to lately?" is a common question. Why do we think it's praiseworthy to say, "Oh my, I've been so busy"...and go on to list the many endeavours we have undertaken or how we are filling up our time with this and that. Is it because we find our sense of worth and value in what we do or have done? This is a faulty base to build your self-worth on!

Psalm 46:10 reads, "Be still and know that I am God." To be still literally means to 'cease striving.' Isn't it productive to cease striving? To take care of oneself? To get to know God? Is it even possible to know God when we are so busy and distracted and entertained? The word entertain actually means to hold the attention of by amusing or distracting/diverting. In this culture of entertainment overload, it becomes increasingly difficult to practice stillness (a discipline that will only be used if you choose it!).  Stillness is also a conduit for creativity and the imagination. The less we use our imaginations and draw from what's inside us, the less satisfied we become.

Why is this? Maybe we were meant for something more than pleasing ourselves and being entertained. Perhaps our boredom is supposed to make us uneasy and cause us to think of other things, concepts, ideas, etc. To long, to dream, to envision -- perhaps stillness is a practice that we ought to pursue. Maybe we are creatures of imagination who require less stimulation and ease then we presently experience. Next time you are tempted to 'get busy' and 'be productive,' consider what it is you actually want to achieve. Do you want to add to the list of things you have to do or do you want to invest in the spirit and soul and mind that God has given you to use -- and possibly to connect more fully with Him?

Just imagine!

Why not just check out?!

The perils of detachment! Although this picture is related to the bondage of the weigh scale -- it also depicts what detachment looks like! Disconnection. Not being whole. Not in unity with the 'whole self.' As the focus of this blog is related to 'Living Wholly!' I want to speak to the dangers of detachment.

Detachment occurs when we operate as though we can disconnect parts of ourselves from other parts -- for example, coming home from work and detaching through overeating, over-exercise, drugs, alcohol, zoning out in front of the TV or computer, etc. At those times, we are physically present but zoned out/disconnected from our thoughts and feelings -- our emotional, spiritual and mental pieces are disregarded.

This is where eating disorders, perfectionism and other ineffective coping skills grow. In order to disconnect and stay detached, a person has to keep engaging in the detaching behaviour -- that is because we are meant to be whole!

So what's the difference between 'checking out' and doing self-care that involves 'taking it easy?' The primary difference is awareness. If you are exhausted and/or overwhelmed at the end of the day, you need to take care of yourself. If you come home and say to yourself, "I don't want to think or feel anything..." Enter detachment -- which is unhealthy and only temporarily effective at best.

Instead, take a couple of minutes to acknowledge/identify what you are feeling. What's the day been like? How are you feeling now emotionally -- or how were you feeling during the day? Notice those emotions -- don't judge them. Just observe what's there. Take a moment to consider what you most need, based on what the emotions are telling you. We all have emotions and they are hardwired! They give us important information so that we can actually meet our valid needs.

For example, if your day has been full of pressure and left you drained from people contact, you may need some downtime/quiet time by yourself doing something that recharges you. Or if you are feeling lonely because you haven't had much people contact, you may need to reach out and have some connection. If a day has felt rather out of control and anxiety producing, you might need comfort and stability; this is a perfect time to do something soothing like take a relaxing walk, listen to music, soak in the tub or cuddle up with a big dog. Petting a dog or cat for 5-10 minutes a day is proven to reduce blood pressure!

The difference between 'checking out'/detaching and self-care is 'checking-in.' And it only takes a couple of minutes to check in with yourself -- notice what you are feeling and do something effective to meet your needs rather than trying to avoid thinking or feeling. Once you get the hang of it, checking in can be a very quick and routine habit that you do during the course of the day so that you are taking good care of yourself and staying attached to ALL your parts.