Purposeful Pain

Pain, pain go away, don't come back another day! That's what I think of pain! Whether it's emotional, mental, physical or spiritual pain. This is truly where we see the overlap of all 'our pieces.' As I have spoken about in Living Wholly before, we cannot separate our lives into parts -- we are integrated beings. What happens to us physically, effects us mentally. What effects us emotionally can impact our physical health and so on.

As I continue on this journey with chronic pain, I am trying to glean purpose from it. C.S. Lewis was quoted as saying that 'pain is God's megaphone.' It has a way of getting our attention! So what can I learn from my pain? What has my pain given me? Here are a few things that I have written down --

• Greater appreciation of life itself
• Greater appreciation of the gifts and abilities that I do have
• Gratitude/grateful heart
• Freedom to embrace life more fully
• Perseverance
• Greater understanding and compassion for those who are suffering
• Ability to identify with and empathize with those who are struggling through difficulties
• Pain reminds me of my desperate need for God
• It gives me a longing and desire for the hope that is to come -- pain-free heaven.
• It makes me humble -- more aware of my need for God and others.

It is a reminder to be practicing the principles that Jesus taught, to 'cast my burdens on Him because He cares for me,' and to yoke (join or unite) myself with Jesus. "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30.

In Bible times, this metaphor made total sense -- today, we don't often see a yoke of oxen -- two oxen walking together with a 'yoke' on. Typically one stronger ox was yoked with a weaker ox which allowed the pair to accomplish much more by decreasing the weight of the burden and leveraging the strength of the combined effort.

This is another positive of pain -- when you are yoked to something, it takes a little more effort to get away! You're not just going to wander off and end up a great distance from that which you are yoked to!

So perhaps the yoke is on me after all! :-) May we take up the very resources that are available to us -- the strength, love and support of Jesus. If God doesn't take us from it, He will take us through it.

Well, I'll Be!

The key learning I have received in the past couple of weeks is the power of prevailing prayer. The kind of prayer where we don't stop! Where we actually believe that what we say to God makes a difference! I have been keenly reminded that God IS moved by our prayers. God is relational -- and He hears our requests. He does not tune us out and pretend that our prayers are just 'blah, blah, blah...'  He listens to our prayers. He is moved by them. He answers our prayers. 

Sometimes it takes time. Often, our timeline does not line up with God's timeline, but that is not an indication that He is not listening or answering. It means that He does things HIS way in HIS timing because He actually and ultimately knows what is best. He desires the best for us!

Last time I wrote my blog, there was a heaviness -- an air of sadness as we stared death in the face on two different sides. Death doesn't always win! In fact, it is important to remember that death HAS been conquered! I Corinthians 15:55-57 tells us, "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."II Timothy 1:10, "but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel."

Our family member whose heart stopped for about 10 minutes, is home and continuing to heal.  We are Princess Bride fans, so refer to the quote where Billy Crystal reports that the man is 'only mostly dead.' We prayed, we petitioned God, we pleaded for Him to intercede and heal, and He did! My aunt who was on life support and headed rapidly towards death is now sitting up and off the life support -- she is aware and recovering. We prayed, we petitioned God, we asked for His mercy, and He answered our prayers.  Do not underestimate the power of your prayers.

Life is Fragile - Live, Love, Laugh

Life. It's so fragile! So easy to take it for granted. We forget that life is terminal. NO ONE gets out of this alive!

Not sure if you are familiar with this song by Tim McGraw but it's a powerful reminder to "Live Like You're Dying:"




"I was in my early forties,
With a lot of life before me,
An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days,
Looking at the x-rays,
An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving,
I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying.
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

He said "I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn’t.
An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
Wasn’t such an imposition,
And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
Well, I finally read the Good Book,
And I took a good long hard look,
At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
And then:

I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying.
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

-- by Tim McGraw; dedicated to the memory of his father, Tug McGraw.

In my small circle of influence, the past 24ish hours have included my adopted sister's father-in-law dying suddenly of a bowel obstruction, a family member almost dying at the age of 41when her heart stopped as she valiantly fights cancer, and my aunt going on life support with no expectation that she will make it. Life is so very fragile and unpredictable. No guarantees. I challenge you, I urge you, to view tomorrow as your gift -- now what will you do with it?

May you live well, love deeply and laugh richly.  'This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.' Psalms 118:24

Really Didn't Need That!

Have you ever been at a place in your life where you thought, "Okay, I'm finally getting a handle on this" and then something else happened? Something worse?! Where there is just no escaping the consequences of what has happened in your life. That happened to us last weekend as we were stopped at a red light. We were rear ended by a woman who was distracted by some means as she barely hit the breaks before impact. After the reality of being hit sunk in, I looked at Glenn and said, "I really didn't need that!"

I just finished the Graston technique treatments and my back was just headed into a beautiful healing pattern. There was definitely hope at the end of the tunnel! And then -- whiplash, shoulder and mid-back injury, and lower back injury/re-injury. Sigh. Glenn has mild whiplash. I must confess that I had a conversation with God about why He didn't prevent this accident. He could have! Maybe He tried to -- maybe He spoke to her and she didn't listen (she said she was on her way to church!); or maybe our being there prevented her son from being killed as they would have been T-boned if she had sailed through the intersection. Or maybe it was just natural and logical consequences from someone's behaviour/choices -- God allowing free will to be worked out. No matter what the divine reason was, I don't like the consequences! Just saying!

I received an e-mail with a quote from Gary Smalley - 'Great faith is the confidence even during a trial that it will one day turn out for our benefit.' I like that! That is how I choose to live -- believing God to once again, take what was meant for evil and bring good out of it...just like He did for Joseph! Romans 8:18 says, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Then it goes on to some of my favourite verses in 8:35, 37-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?" No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I really didn't need that accident last weekend! My body attests to that! (I would truly appreciate your prayers for healing). But what I do know for certain is that NOTHING separates me from the love of God and He will bring something out of this for our benefit! 

Age of Adonis

Are you familiar with Adonis? He is a figure from Greek mythology that symbolized 'handsome youth.' Interestingly, the name Adonis is a variation of the semitic word Adonai which means, "Lord." There is a new classification in eating disorders called "The Adonis Complex." It all has to do with fixation on the physical body and essentially, worship of the body.  One of my biggest frustrations in working with eating disorders is hearing how people HATE their bodies.  They don't just dislike little things like a muffin top or aging skin with a sag, they despise the very bodies which God has given them as a carrying case for their soul while living out physical life here on earth.

How many conversations have you had this week that included talk about dieting, exercising, or changing one's physical appearance in some way -- possibly even through extreme measures like surgery? Why have we become so focused on the physical body when it is only 1/4 of our being? Body, mind, soul and spirit.  Our culture is beyond obsession with physical beauty and cultural standards that we have assigned to what is beautiful and acceptable.  If you have not yet seen it, I encourage you to watch the movie, "America the Beautiful; America's Obsession with Beauty."  This cultural obsession with the body is destroying our society in so many ways!  Eating disorders, addiction, exercise addiction, etc.  All of which lead to a spiritual cancer called idolatry.

Idolatry is giving worship and adoration to something other than God.  Idolatry sounds so sinful!  Yet idolatry of the body is rampant in today's society.  Looking to something other than God for identity is never a good idea.  "But I just want to be healthy" is a common cry and defence.  What's wrong with being healthy?  Nothing! Providing your search for health is moderate and in balance, and does not consume you or become obsessional.

Accepting your body's natural weight range is the key, even if you don't like your body's 'plumb line.'    To the left is the best scale I've ever seen! It was at the International Association of Eating Disorder's Professionals Conference this year. Why do we let our weight define us?!  A number ought not to be God! God ought to be God!  The Bible does not spend reams of verses telling us how to care for the body.  Most references re: the body are that it is perishing, fading and that we get a new one in the next life (II Cor. 5:1)!  It is the housing for the Holy Spirit -- the temple of the Holy Spirit (I Cor, 6:19).

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for appropriate care of the body, revolving around moderate eating and moderate activity/exercise.  But we are not to hate/despise the body that God has given us and attempt to make it into something it is not naturally supposed to be (eating disordered, forced below its weight range, neglected through obesity and forced far beyond it's weight range, etc.)  We are not to be mastered by food and exercise but are to be the master's of our physical body and focused far more on the things of God than the things of the body.

The Scriptures tells us to be focused on the things of the heart and the spirit, not the body and external appearance (John 7:24, II Cor. 10:7, I Peter 3:3-4).  These scriptures help us to bring correction -- to give us a mindset that leads to freedom! Freedom from obsession. Freedom from idolatry. Freedom to know the truth of who we are in Christ, without the bondage of trying to make our bodies the ruling force in our lives.  Rather than Adonis, let's pursue Adonai and ask Him to help us accept our bodies and cherish them for the gift they are.

Memories...

I just got off the Skype with a friend in Senegal, Africa. It's hard to believe that our trip there was almost 2 1/4 years ago now! It is wonderful to see how God brings restoration and healing in His timing! What a joy to hear about how God is moving.

Since we are so entrenched in the physical realm in North America we often forget there is a very living, active spiritual realm where God is actively fulfilling His purposes and answering our prayers.  Some things that I remember from our trip to Africa -- bartering merchants who always had a 'special deal' for their Canadian friends, the trip to the Bandia Game Reserve where we ate pizza by the crocodile pond and got the best photo shoot with giraffes ever, teaching junior and high school kids about their identity and self-worth, equipping teachers & dorm parents about eating disorders and how to guard against them, spending time with families and being able to minister to them and be ministered to by them, and believing God's faithfulness for each person we encountered.

In the old testament it was called an 'Ebenezer.' A pile of rocks that was formed somewhat like a sculpture to mark a spot that people wanted to remember. A spot they could re-visit with their children in the future and be reminded to tell the story of what God had done in that geographical spot -- a remembrance/memory jogger. The Israelites did this when they crossed over the Jordan River into the Promised Land. God instructed the leaders to select a rock from the Jordan and to assemble them together -- one representing each tribe, so that they would remember that God had 'brought them safely thus far.' We need memories! We need things that symbolize and reactivate our memory of what God has done in our lives. We are truly a forgetful people! We think we will never forget when God does a powerful work in our lives, a miracle, or a direct and obvious answer to prayer...and yet, we do! We forget the faithfulness and love of God in our lives, especially when we encounter struggles or crisis. Yet God told us to expect troubles in this world -- John 16:33 says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Is there something you could do to symbolize the faithfulness of God in your life? The fact that He has brought you safely thus far? Maybe you could build your own Ebenezer. Want to know what I named the first decent car I was able to buy after graduating from seminary? You guessed it, Ebenezer! And by God's grace, it was a cute little convertible so I could more fully enjoy the sun! (And the Son!)

Setbacks and Other Fun Stuff

Have you ever experienced a breakthrough that led you to have such joy and relief that it almost made you forget about the original problem? It's an awesome feeling! It's like the object that has been so prominent in the forefront of the picture of your life, fades into the background. I have experienced this recently with a breakthrough in my chronic pain. All of a sudden the past two years of pain drifted away to the recesses of my mind as I experienced a few days where the pain was essentially gone. Ever heard the phrase, "I got a new lease on life?" Well, I did, and I liked the terms of this lease way more!

The new treatments being used by my chiropractor and the acupuncturist seemed to be alleviating the pain cycle that was locked into my lower back. How do you spell relief? RELIEF! I started to move more freely and without pain. Made it 'til the end of the day and didn't need any medication. Hmmmm. Thinking I could get to like this! Even did some things around the house that I haven't been able to do for ages. And then it happened. The 'process' kicked in.

I went back to the chiropractor for another treatment with the new technique and this time he used instruments to do soft-tissue manipulation -- the "Graston Technique." Short-term pain for long term gain. That's the new slogan. He literally digs into the erector muscles in my lower back to break down the tissue damage and cause it to re-grow in a healthy manner. Result - pain again. Sigh. But that brief window of relief made me more able to accept this pain. The process is taking place. The tissues are breaking free of the scar tissue which formed during the past two years in response to being locked up with pain. The tissue needs to breakdown, re-grow and heal in the proper place.

Don't you hate process?! And even more - correction? Yet what if we need a strategic intervention in order to get to the root of the problem -- to assess the broken down junk in our life, to break it down further so it can be gotten rid of. To push through the process in order to bring correction and to allow healing to break forth? Ahhh, sweet process! It is there that I am reminded of my deep and unrelenting need for God! HE is my Source and my Refuge. 'They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and never faint,' Isaiah 40:31. I take courage from Philippians 4:12-13, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation...I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."