Sunday, December 16, 2012

Resiliency -- Something We Really Need

Why is it that two people raised in the same home can end up so differently? Even identical twins can endure the same kind of trauma and be effected in totally different ways. During the brunt force of trauma a person can implode and fracture. They can explode and destroy. Or they can survive and thrive as they heal. So why do some people pass through horrific trials and trauma and come out the other side with peaceful smiles on their faces?

Corrie Ten Boom is one such person. She is one of the most resilient people I have ever heard of. She was a Dutch woman whose family helped save the lives of over 800 jews and numerous members of the Dutch Underground. Not only did she live through the holocaust and three horrendous concentration camps that stole the lives of her sister, father and one other family member. Corrie Ten Boom didn't just survive. She overcame her imprisonment and found peace and freedom in forgiveness. She went on to write books and share what she learned through her trials "There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still" and "God will give us the love to be able to forgive our enemies."   (Read more at http://www.corrietenboom.com).

Walking on the beach in Galveston I found this shell. I'm a bit of a fanatic when it comes to shelling! I am intrigued by the shape, colour, texture and personality of these shells. This white shell was so thin it was almost translucent, yet it had endured being tossed around in a roiling ocean. Tiny ridges detailed this shell as you can see -- intricate, fragile and yet so very resilient! I found a number of shells like this one -- sturdy little fellas! I was also looking for some bigger more colourful shells that had a big circular spiral  to them. I found lots of pieces but no whole shells. It was rather ironic to see these bigger, substantial creatures with thick shells broken to pieces while these thin little white ones were basking in the sunshine on a Texan beach.
So what makes one shell more resilient than an other? What makes one person more resilient than another? What are the markers of resiliency? Can we make ourselves more resilient or is just innate? Resiliency is the ability to withstand shock and crisis without permanent damage – an ability to recover from or adjust relatively easily to misfortune or change.

Here are some things that build resiliency:
- Laugh more.
- Re-cast situations/challenge your perspectives.
- Look for the good rather than focusing on the negative.
- Forgive those who have harmed you.
- Look for opportunities to do something different, then do it!
- Laugh more.
- Remember that you have choice; choose to be grateful and hopeful.

This is where the Serenity Prayer affords such wisdom (in its entirety):
"God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."                  -- Reinhold Niebuhr

We cannot change who we have been but we can change who we become. By the grace of God, may we become more resilient and experience the peace of a life well-lived and a contented smile. "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11b-13.



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